Suicidal tendencies

Sucidal tendencies are locked inside of me. The first time i tried i was only 13.

A world all alone and lost in my memories. Running away from everything that is me.

Something unknown caught ahold of me. To help up and land upon my feet. A gentle voice to kept reminding me. Life must go on and it desperately includes me.
The second time i tried i was only 24. World spiraling down the deep rabbit hole. The pain i felt this time was definitely more.

A gap in my heart and the pain covering the hole.
Asking God to come down and for Him to set me free.

The pain comes more as it starts to consume me. All it leaves now is the numbness that i feel. I welcome the pain back. Maybe i can heal?
This isnt a place i should be. My life is in the balance and no one to come save me.
I dont want to be alone, is this really the end? No one to call, should i give up instead?
But once again an angel decides to intervene. Telling me that God has never left me and he has a plan for me.

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